"Casanova", or "Can't Stand This Persona"?

 You can be a military officer, a musician (in particular a violinist), a gambler, poet and adventurer but in the past, if you were any of the above and a male to tip the scales of attention, you were going to most certainly be popular among "the ladies". Of all the exploits that the Venetian man, Casanova had been noted for, his home being the pleasure capital of the world through the 1700's certainly had an impacct on his upbringing in such a vast way that it literally became the epitome of his reputation. 

As it goes for many today, many back in the 18th century believed, "home is where the heart is at". Thinking back to the 18th century, the world was still a very big place and quite isolated. Your name was still very much still resembling your home in one way or another. 

Casanova was noted as having lost his virginity at the age of 11 and thereafter, as that first, each after being just that much more scandalous after one other. His many roles put him in entertainment venues, and he wasn't just a pretty face, he was noted as producing literature that made him associated with thinkers such as Voltaire, Benjamin Franklin and Mozart. 

Having later liveda life and then some, he documented his exploits through his autobiography, Historie de Ma Vie (Story of My Life). 

It seems, there is still this reminicisent Casanova seeking young man and maybe even women or otherwise that strikes their social circles as a thinker, a sophistocated mind, waiting for the opportunity to find a mate fitting of one's desire, to strike, but in need of that exit into another romantic muse soon after. However much we feel mainstream media tries to disband the idea of the permiscuous colleague or close friend, it still creeps into that spotlight ever so often. 

The real story, in my opinion was that Casanova, somehow, duped, "fixed" (a.k.a. cheated) and well, lived a life of general fraudulent behaviour, in which led to him dying without being able to return home and yet, off all his brilliant cheats/schemes/crimes/escapes, he is remembered as someone who slept with a lot of people, hahaha oh humans. Nevermind the V.D. he contracted throughout his exploits. Its troubling sometimes to imagine that of all the lives lived in the 1700's this guys' memoir one of the more remembered when discussing life and times of Europe in the 18th century. Yes, there are obviously others, but I guess, well, everyone loves good villian hahaha

 

Don't Ghost People Who Go to Visit You in the Hospital (2024)

 This is a personal post. One that could generally be summed up with the classic idea of "don't burn your bridges", except in this case, there isn't much in the way of a bridge to burn I guess. 

This story takes place in Guangzhou, China (September, 2023). I have been teaching here for roughly five years and have experienced quite a bit. I understand that the teaching profession is a tough one for many people and generally not the same across the board with regards to schools and their responsibilities, but to extent, as a human who is expected to take the same level of care of students as a parent (to a degree), there are simply some people who can fake it, up until they can't.

After resigning from their position as an educator within the school, the individual seemed to have deleted people from the school from their personal wechat (IM). Normally, ya, I would do the same if this were someone whom I didn't really think to highly of or care much to keep in touch with. In many cases I find that some acquaintances/short-term buddies over time had removed me over time and sure, ya, that's fine-but this individual really caught me by surprise. 

Back track to something like May/June, the teacher came to the school to check it out, meet students, see the campus and get a vibe to better understand what the school had in store for thier child who was going to be enrolled into the primary division of the school as well.

The individual liked what they saw, even went against the better advice and took up residence in the teacher dormitory. within a week, the individual gave up on themselves in this position. A side of this story that really flusters me is that yes, they were in a new course that was being introduced to the school division we were working in, but the individual had full creative expanse, I provided him and his colleague who was teaching the same course, with a framework (if you will, only more detailed), in the event that they didn't feel like exploring this frontier on their own. Given the situation neither of the colleagues in subject preparation sessions showed interest in designing anything new or for that matter confidence in the ability to deliver content recommended. It came to a point where I literally, as a Dept. Head was instructed by the principal to create the lesson plans and activities for the two teachers. I did. I also debriefed with both teachers and there was an "Aha" moment wherein they understood that if students were so slow as unable to be participating in class reguarly with stories provided, etc. that they could find different stories and/or chunk the story into parts and teach it over the course of a couple days. That seemed like we finally cracked the code on the personal shortcomings both teachers were expressing that they had, until the one literally hit the floor out of exhaustion one night (early morning), rushed to the hospital. the situation was so serious, the spouse was handed a "death notice". This was insane, everyone was grief stricken and just flabbergasted by the entire situation. 

That week teachers went down to the hospital to visit in three different visits, because realistically, as an expat, we know its not like there is a ton of family around. My wife and I watched their daughter a couple of times (at least once for sure), its just straight-up shocking to me. We go to wit's end to get this individual the best situation (at least advised them of what that is here), against better advice and beyond the work I took up for the individual personally, buddy just falls off the side of the earth, near literally.

Everntually, the individual was released from the hospital, spent the better part of the following week, hooked up to a heart monitor at home. Thereafter, they called a cloak and dagger like meeting between 4 people (including myself and themselves), in which amidst the dark of the living quarters' parking lot, they were asking us who had been there for about 2+ years (each) at least by that point, "What I should do?". I was confused as to what was happening as I figured that the guy was coming back to work, but little did I know this individual had paranoia that was surrounding the upper administration of the school. I recommended they move on, the semester was not going to get easier for them, especially if they were paranoid and thinking they needed to be looking over their shoulder all the time. I was so confused, now when I look back, I just have a chuckle.

Sometimes, its nice to welcome people in with open arms, support them with your own time, life and professional service, but at some point-cut the cord. Altruism should make you friends, here, it just made me annoyed.  

*To those heading to Huamei-Bond International College in Guangzhou, the school is one that certain accumulates a great deal of responsibility on the teacher the longer the teacher is there, the idea of a salary is that, the longer the teacher is there, the more they are expected to do. Even for myself now, being told that my employment is at value of 3 new teachers. That is not only a bit absurd, but quite inaccurate as well. Considering the new salary grids that these ones we use are currently modelled after, are not actually updated to meet the newest grids of that model. 

*To those who know me, I'll break my back for you, but don't go stepping on my toes the whole way down the road.

*To everyone else, sometimes its better to keep your head low and your hopes up.

Being at the Right Place at the Right Time.

 Minds on:

Check out this news article from CTV

https://www.ctvnews.ca/lifestyle/the-queen-meets-with-canadian-soldiers-performing-guard-duties-at-windsor-castle-1.5614015

The rugged looking man in uniform with a face bush is my brother.

This guy, like countless others is someone who was in the right the place at the right time. 

He like many others has other desires than to always be a person in the military service, but as he says it best, "there are some things I get to do with my job, that I literally wouldn't be able to do in any other way."

I respectfully replied, "Well, Cambodia firingrange.com is a pretty good place to start if you are looking for one of a kind experiences that one would only imagine they get in the military."

Jokes aside, the truth is, we got one life, there is really only one time "now" and it comes down to what are you doing with that time. 

Like people who are in the right place at the right time, there are people who know the right thing to say at the right time.

When someone asks you how your day is, sometimes, it goes a long way to actually start a conversation rather than an giving a more or less empty (but polite response). A guy who I used to work with, Daniel Fuller, once said, "I try to make a point of sitting down and getting to know people well enough that regardless of how much I might dislike or get annoyed with their antics, that there is one thing I can say we have in common on a personable level, and actually have a conversation about.", I try this more times than not, and I'll be honest, I have ended up in some pretty great places, sometimes a little more on the GrEaT side (too great maybe), and the next day brings with it a head splitting reminder of what "responsible consumption" means-cellphone in a cab on the otherside of town, Cards Against Humanity littered on the floor and my friends passed out around the room, who says you get too old for sleepovers? 

Like many other things, people think it is always based on luck that you are in the right place at the right time or able to say the right thing-it isn't, its positivity and natural attraction of mood. Happy people want to be around happier people and upset people (may not think it), they want to be around happy people. It comes down to the simple idea that, "yes", is a starting point-not the answer-god, you might end up in a very messed up situation or broke if you are always saying yes-#truestory ; but I digress, "Yes" is a starting point-from there, a smile (maybe).

Before one knows it, smiling, nodding, saying "yes, I'll help ya move that ridiculous piece of furniture," might very well turn into that "Why, yes, I do come here often, but would you like to check out another place I frequent?". It could also be that very thing that elevates your life from one state to an entirely new level-I'd like to think its a good one for ya.

Cheers though, and start with a genuine smile, nod-"yes, it is a good day isn't it?"

Pregnancy

It has not been 12 weeks yet and maybe I am talking too soon but I wanted to tell someone as I cannot control myself with how excited I am to be possibly becoming a father.

Of course I am going to brag about how to successfully get pregnant!

So, in this article I am going to break it down for you pretty basic-can't share all the secrets with you or she will screaming my name instead of yours :p

Just kidding-

#1 Full comfort-the human body needs to be in complete rest mode before getting her impregnated. The body needs to welcome the sperm to find the egg-so much of sex is psychological and although it is not so much a scientific fact it was something I felt needed to be ensured because well, just like a man can sometimes psychologically ejaculate mostly "blanks" if there is a psychological/emotional understanding that the sexual partner is not good for reproduction. I would say it is pretty scientific that if the woman is not "wet" it is significantly more difficult for her to get pregnant as well-correct?

#2 Ambiance- in order to help promote happiness and contentment, allow the atmosphere to breed and breathe love. Prepared dinner, scented candles and maybe even a massage.

#3 Foot Massage-so many beliefs encircle around the proper or professional massage of feet, I personally believe it may not be a determining factor but it certainly helps.

#4 Patience-it will not usually be a first time and succeed but is that really an issue? Come on, cheer up-more sex! Sometimes even "fun" sex

#5 Spontaneity-it is crucial and super important that at times you just spring a sweet surprise and hope it falls on an ovulation period; otherwise the wife will ask you to just drop everything and fornicate...any issues? The old run home at lunch and get'er done and then back to the office-trying to also get a sandwich while home :p

#6 Positioning-no, one position is not just straight up magical, but this surely gives you an excuse to get out the old Karma Sutra and try "everything in the book" hahaha don't tell me you really didn't think that would make it in here. "Sex Dice" for you uneducated individuals :P

Good luck, and happy fornicating!

-CB

To Get Known

To this lesson I must say there is someone who I learned from and what I will say may come off as snarky because this person upsets me in very small ways and is just one of those people who just naturally come off as fake (to me at least).

Without saying names or mentioning particular bias events-I will give my extremely honest and fair observations of an individual and how they can be successfully renowned or known.

1) Be loud-if you aren't loud, simply no one will hear you. The trick to being loud and not hated is really, just kill people with kindness. If you feel you can be kind and never stop giving everything you have including time and energy to everyone who needs it or people who you think need it, you can't be loud and unconditionally loved.

2) Be positive-I am not a negative person but I am also not an optimist. so much of my life is earned and not given; who knows maybe I wouldn't be as much of a grouch as I feel if life had dealt something a little different back in the day, but regardless I love my life now and I have responsibilities as well as other things on the go for myself because this is my life-sorry self justification rants...but the idea is if you are not the MOST positive person in the population or flippy headed individual with a knack for nodding along with the masses...move on...

3) Have a scapegoat-we ALL need to do things we don't want to and at some point or another we need to or will accidentally do something to someone (unintentionally or not) and they won't like it-with that being said, you need a fall person...heh, ya I have been the fall person for this individual before and oh how I regret it...fml. Never allow someone to talk you into being a fall person.

4) Be the Face-this couples with being loud, if people don't see you, they can't hear you. Once people become accustom to who you are without hearing your voice, then you can be loud without being the face. but hey, people need to see you! Especially see you doing whatever it is you are trying to promote. Again though-you need to be careful, if you can't make people love you unconditionally, then you will not succeed in this because people will get bored with you.

Ultimately it comes down to this, it takes a really unique individual to be this successful and you know what there will be benefits and satisfactions to this type of person-but never change who you are just because...you need to want it.

If I am going to be honest, I think the reason I feel so much resentment towards this individual is because they took so much of what I did or suggested and basically forced themselves upon my life. There was no "hey..." it was more of a "this is happening..." and sure enough they had a scapegoat try to get more from me than I allowed them to take.

Great human being nonetheless-I would be too though I think if I had nothing else to work towards in life...

-CB

To Forget

Ever been in a relationship and wanted to forget about it? Ya me to...no of course not this one or the marriage I am in right now :p No! This is about a friend of mine--->Classic, ya I know how that sounds :p

No, but for real-I have an extremely close friend of mine who has gone through what has been about 6 months of dating a matter of 1. Crazy stuff, really sympathize, empathize and would not euthanize the guy-but would certainly be happy to help him forget.

In this article we will talk about the ways that people can try to forget about pain-the different ways, in particular, the most successful ways.

1) Having sex...ya it is called a rebound for a reason and no there is nothing to be ashamed of. People gotta have sex, but for real-that is kind of what living things were created to do...so take however you will (or give it how you will) but in reality-once your brain has realized you can reproduce with another being, you kinda move one exponentially faster because you know it may not have been you exactly but regardless, there is sex without that other person! I guess the original explanation of that saying was "There is life beyond ___(insert name)__".

2) Boys/Girls nights. Even if you don't lay pipe or get plowed, sometimes there is a significant benefit to just going out and participating in promiscuous but harmless activities with your hombres. Tell your married or engaged friends to shut up, and get out. Kids or not, that is what babysitters are for and you know what-they can use the excitement in their own life for sure! As a married man, this has been a busy month for my wife and I but I am still willing to at least make the attempt for a brother in need and although we didn't go to any scandalous locations we ended up just having-A NIGHT! A solid evening. NOTE: Contrary to popular belief the over consumption of alcohol does not help in the disappearance of an emotional tick.

3) Depending on who you are travelling could be extremely helpful because it will usually lead to the meeting of cute strangers who sometimes find you interesting as much as you find them interesting.

Nonetheless, it goes without saying that everyone is different and these are the most prominent and quickest ways to get an emotional break from a hurt or pain in your life.

#tipstoexcessinsuccess

Tip: Reminder

Reminder: You are Awesome!

Wow! I am AWESOME! -Thanks Past me.

It is not everyday that someone tells us we are awesome, unless you are Barney Stinson. He tells himself everyday. People are curious about how successful people become successful. For starters, they have the support of the people who really matter...themselves.

It is not selfish to imagine your own opinion as the only one that matters because  sometimes in life you will find that the people who are holding you back are the ones with opinions whom you care about. I am not saying you should go squander a family fortune on something ridiculous, but you need to have a better understanding that sometimes what people think may help you; may not actually be as helpful as they imagine.

If you have a plan and your intentions are pure or you truly believe in it, why not go for it? Sometimes you need to bet on yourself. There are moments when you wonder if the outcome is really going to pay off, but you won't know until you try.

The person who almost won the 100 dollar coin toss. An individual is walking through the city park and comes across someone much, much wealthier than they. The wealthier individual notices the man lying under the tree with his dog and approaches. "My friend, I don't know if you are a gambler, but I'll make you an offer, you decide which side of the coin you think will land upwards. If that side is the side you chose, I will pay you 10$. If you lose however, I get your dog."said the wealthier individual. The individual lying down was stunned and stared at the fella bewildered.

The individual lying down sat up and took a deep breath with which he replied "I'll have to pass." The wealthier man continued on his way with no reaction to the denial of his offer.

The next day, the wealthier comes by the individual who was lying down yesterday and sits on the bench across the walking path. Another individual wanders by with a novel and sits themselves on the park bench beside the wealthier individual. The wealthier individual says to the stranger "Hi, how would you like to make an easy 20$?"

The stranger displayed interest and figured why not but played with a coin of their choice. The gambling man won and the stranger wanted to play again. Yet again, the gambler won. Undefeated in the eyes of the individual across the path, this man had upset the person with their luck. The stranger left and the gambler smiled at the individual lying beneath the tree.

The next couple days seemed as though they were all but unfortunate for this park gambling man. The man lying down under the tree became intrigued and began pondering the sudden arise of such an individual in an area that they had been so familiar with.

By the end of the week the wealthier individual seemed to have made at least a couple 100$ over the week. The wealthier individual approached the individual lying beneath the tree at the end of the week with another offer, "Play my game. I'll wager 100$ if you wager your dog." The man lying under the tree dropped his jaw, that easy? Could a month of meals and better shelter be so easy to find.

The individual under the tree was contemplating the winnings of this gambler all that week. The individual lying beneath the tree in the park had invested much time imagining all the great things they would do and buy with so much extra cash.

The man took a deep breath and repeated as he did at the beginning of this story, "No."

The wealthier individual replied annoyed, "Fool."

Take what you will from this tale, I have written myself especially for this occasion. People no matter who they are in life have needs, regardless of good, or bad; rich or poor. People may not always need to be risk takers to be happy with life or get what they need. Sometimes people have what they need right there with them. Some people are sensible enough to recognize a good thing when they have or
see one. This man knew his dog was the most important thing to him...or he was simply just mentally ill (total joke!). But regardless of being called a fool or not, if your best friend is going to be gambled away, what kind of life could you expect to have after that? Not that living under a tree in the park is much of  a life but there is certainly a reason I am sure for the individual to be situated there in the manner that they are.

Just some food for thought; how do you know a good thing when you see or have one? Think about how you would feel without it.

Cheers!

Carmelo Bono

CB